Retreating From Life

This past weekend I attended a retreat with 400 other adoptive mothers and it was AWESOME! God really showed up!
When I left here on Friday, I expected a time of refreshment just from having a break from the everyday routine of caring for 2 small children and a husband and a house and ministry and countless other responsibilities. I also expected to be encouraged by hanging out with other adoptive mommas. Mommas who "get it". Ladies who get what its like to form a family through adoption....the struggles, the waiting,the comments from others that are sometimes not so encouraging or loving, the utter joy at bringing home your child......and then all the adoption related issues that come after you have brought home your child.
What I didn't know though was how much God would speak to me about parenting my babies (mostly my 3 year old)! God is SO good! Recently, I have had some struggles as a momma. I guess most of it comes from being exhausted and having 2 small children who constantly need me. Having an active 3 year old that needs/wants his momma and a baby that does not ever want to be put down.......ever! But I have struggled. While I can say that these past 3 years have been the happiest times of my life, they have also been the hardest and most challenging. I have faced some things as a momma that I never really had imagined in my "plans" and some days, I am just sad.....joyful and happy......but also sad. God spoke to me about that. I can't share everything He said to me out of respect for my children.......but I can say that God clearly put His arms around me, loved on me, told me that I am not failing as a mom and that He has some big plans for my kids........and that because of those big plans, Satan hates my kids and wants to destroy them......but God reminded me that He has them in his hands, has me in His hands and that He loves them EVEN MORE than I do. That's a lot! He showed me some specific prayers to pray for my children and some of the attitudes within myself that need to change. (Just being real)
I was sharing this with my husband today when I got home and I just couldn't stop the tears from coming....that's how real God's voice was to me. God's love amazes me!

One of the ways God used to speak to me this weekend was through an awesome song from Matt Redman. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA